Hello there the  favorite man that I never met

You know that special horseback ride I was supposed to get from you  just because I am your favorite daughter’s child which automatically makes me your favorite grandchild?

I never got that…. I never met you…sometimes that feeling leaves this huge empty space that is just filled by the framed black and white photographs of you on the wall.

You seem different in photographs than the stories I hear of you.

I heard that you listened to the radio a lot and liked things neat.That you were funny and had a good sense of humor.

You always seem so strict on the photos,like you were the ‘make a point or leave’ kind of person.

I wonder if you would be proud that I write,I wonder if you would ever tell me about how my mother was when she was growing up.

If you would be the cool one who took me to walks or the one who thought that girls should always be home.

From what I have heard you had a very strong personality and you were tall and could reach places where the others in the family could not.

You were always about principles and values,maybe that is why the rest of the family respects you like you were never gone.

I wonder if you would take photographs of me from your vintage camera on Parent’s day at school,If you would take me for ice-cream after sports day even if I didn’t participate much.If you would support me during report card days even If I suck at maths.. If you would hug me tight to sleep when I had nightmares

I wonder if you would wear glasses if you were alive,if you would try to catch up with technology or just be like this is not meant for you.I wonder what kind of perfume you would use…how would you smoke your cigarette,if you would listen to narayan gopal or rock with ac/dc.If  you would let me be your drink buddy and tell me to fry up the mutton brain because that is what my daddy asks me to fry sometimes.

I wonder if you would look at me like the way grandpas look at their grandkids..like I was not a mistake but a miracle.

I wonder if you would take me to long drives when I had long days,If you would be okay with me having boys as freinds,If you would like my love for kids,dogs,perfumes and photographs.If you would love my cooking or just criticise and never adore.

If you would cough how I imagined you would or if you would have a walking stick….If you would give me the kisses my mother talks about.

I heard you were very specific about things,I am too sometimes.. I know I never met you baa but then I miss you…sometimes on summer days when grandma talks about how you used to talk to her and asked her if you could get her special kisses I think of you as this black and white era’s romantic hero who could beat up leonardo di caprio any time.

Sometimes when mother talks about how strict you were I think of hitler..I know..those are two poles apart but I just can not figure out what kind of person you were so…yeah all I can do is imagine..

Thankyou for such a wonderful family put together..for making us all grow together instead of apart…for giving principles money cant ever buy…for the love and bond that only you could have made…I don’t know if you would be proud of me but I am proud of you and I love you..

(P.S-I look like your favorite daughter …so I hope you recognise me when you meet me)

Untill then

Loads of love

Raeesha