Hello there my favourite lesson
You know that annoying chapter that you just do not understand but have to memorize anyways in order to pass the exams because it carries a lot of importance. It is tough and is too much for your small cerebellum to carry, you just don’t want to remember it but you’’ have to’’ have to…because. …You have to so now you have no choice but learn it by heart.
You were the toughest lesson..actually you were a bunch of lessons that I did not want to learn because it was difficult but I learnt you by heart and I shall never forget.
You taught me the most important lessons in life, the ones that make me bold and beautiful, the ones I did not want to learn because I feared them.Thankyou.
It ended on a very bitter note, the ‘’thing’’ that was between us but it’s okay..it’s not necessary that things end as beautifully as they begin all the time.
You filled my high school with things to laugh about, stories to tell my grandkids and obviously you clarified with good explanation about puppy love and real love.( I still am not sure If I got the concept of love right but I am clearer than I was when I was 14).
You did a lot for meJ
Im sorry I was not enough,I am sorry you were embarrassed because I was not the ‘cool’ one who knew how to dress ‘HOT’.
But I am not sorry I was myself and that I adored you that time…that is just something I felt..and I am never ashamed of how I feel about certain things and people…I just trust my guts you see.
You certainly did some things you were not supposed to
It kind of killed me in certain ways..but it’s okay I’m a phoenix who is a rainbow so Ef it (REBORN BABY REINCARNATION ! ( PERKS OF BEING A HINDU))
I hope by now you know that you should not play with people’s hearts…after what happened to your guardian angel I am sure you know you are not supposed to cheat on people either.(But that is none of my business.)
4 years spent with you seemed nice but the years after you were great. I learned a lot from you like I said earlier.
For instance how me being beautiful or not shall not depend on a guy who will deliver sandwiches and roses to me with a ‘YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL’’ note…I can be beautiful on a Wednesday If I want and it has nothing to do with other people .
How one does not complete the other but just compliments each other’s existence.
How love like every other emotion is seasonal.
I should elaborate that one because you are not that good with understanding..
You know how you feel happy and you feel sad..but you can’t always be happy or sad…because they are emotions..they are seasonal…I used to think that love was forever ( I blame fairytales and all the cheesy love songs)but love is not an exception…it is also seasonal.
It is difficult for a 19 year old to comprehend that you know but its ok I got it thanks J
Thank-you for introducing me to Snow Patrol I still love them…coldplay songs are amazing too…thank-you for the infinite uneatable amount of chocolates and roses and fluffy toys and all the cheesy romantic things…but most of all thankyou for introducing myself to me.
I know I blamed you for my heartbreak and said you were a terrible person
I take that back..you like me were just growing up..I know we were both confused as hell and we do stupid things when we are confused(the irrational human mind comes into existence then.)
It is okay,it was the time and circumstances that made us do what we did…we still had not figured ourselves out.
I am sorry I was such a dweeb and did not understand that you just were experimenting.I was dumb I did not get the concept of experimenting back then…I was too much addicted to safety.
However You should not have said those things you said about me and you definitely should not have said those things about my mother ..that was very disrespectful.
You should also have given back my slam book because it meant a lot to my bestfreind…for those two things I shall not forgive you….I mean it involved other people you ass. (You better be sorry for that for the rest of your life )
But its ok I mean there is nothing you can do about it…I still think you taught me a lot and I am very thankful for that.
I am happy with how I have turned out…how I really don’t care much but care at the same time.I am so happy that I live with more clarity ( or confusion you may say)
I don’t believe what people say anymore (because one point you said I was beautiful and one point you said I was the ugliest thing ever)I just believe what I feel and it has worked out pretty well.
Thanks for being my first. THANK YOU MORE for not being the last !
Damn life would have been miserable if I had spent it with someone as shallow as you (haha but thank god he saved me.)
Okay I wont write much I mean you are my past and have no significance in my now but hey sometimes on long days when I have a lot do and have cold sighs I thank you for making me a braver person…for leaving me so damn confused..because the point where you left me…my reflection started…
Bye
Raeesha
raeesha.com 