‘I dont know what I am doing with my life man…I have an exam today but then instead of being all prepared I sit and write,I google Bukwoski and I don’t even have a plan for summer…look at everyone! They seem so settled and so ‘Perfect’ and I am here…not even weight under control…not even with a guy…not even with good grades.. or summer internship .ugh…nothing is making sense….I am just lost ..”
”Calm the fuck down bro…this is just one of those panic attacks..this is always going to be there..”
Wait what? am I going to live the rest of my life like this? like a lost puppy looking for home?
I think my puzzled face asked all the questions,so she answered patiently being the amazing bag of advices she is.
(Thank-you bhagvan I have such nice friends)
”This feeling of what life could have been…is always going to be there,all these people who seem ”settled” they are as lost as you too,they are just not showing it!”
”But they all have plans Bs ! I don’t even have a legit plan A!!!!!”
”Those people with a lot of plans you know what happens to them?”
”They always know what to do?”
”The end up in a fucking mental hospital.”
I laughed out loud.
She smiled.
”It is okay not to have plans all the time man,everyone is lost …they just don’t like accepting it but its good that you are…this way you could do things you have not planned and be happy about it…No-body knows what they are doing..everyone needs to do something more after being the best…even when you get married to the right person tomorrow..you will be asking ” Is this the right thing to do?”…this is just not going to end..you will always be questioning stuffs and be blank…that is just life...”
Maybe it was overdose of caffeine that made me so anxious,or maybe my stupidity,whatever it was I am glad I state it when I am scared that way it helps me fight my fears…so if you are feeling lost and have no idea what you are doing…are trying to find the ‘Purpose’ of your life…just know that I am too there are a lot of us who are lost…its okay…after all it is better to be confused than to be cold.
Thank-you for reading
Take care 🙂
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