The things you make me do

I will google

greek yoghurt

even if I am not sure if that is from greece

I will watch videos

on how to lose weight

without exercising

and be disappointed

by the things I already know

(but don’t implement)

I will go for a walk

or for a jog

or for a run

when I am not supposed to

I will be my worst critic

until there is nothing left to hate

I will eat until

I fill the void the you left behind

I will even keep my closet clean

I will dust things

that were not dusty

in the first place

I will take photographs

of things I don’t want to forget

maybe those things will be some people too

I will learn how to bake

without milk and eggs

I will cry

in shahrukh khan movies

and wish someone looked at me

the way he looked at Anjali

I will laugh at things that are not funny

I will write

and write

and write more

about love that does not exist

I will pray for people who don’t know me

I will listen to Gravity

and wish

I could not relate to anything

Sara Bareilles sings about

I will even listen to motivational speeches

and think that my pimple is the progress my body is making

I will even go for a swim when I don’t want to

I will listen to grown ups and drink tea with them

and nod when things make sense

almost headbang

when they talk

about

the meaning of love and marriages

But I will never

 admit

that I am doing all this

to forget you