when he shot me
with his camera
I felt a bullet in my heart
I did not want to be remembered that way
I did not want to look back and see what I looked like
Ugly things and people are better forgotten
I did not want a photograph to be one more reason I was ashamed of myself
but he did it
without my consent
he did it
to prove something
I am actually glad he did it
I would not have seen how far I have come otherwise