Hello my first identity giver
When I came to a different land,a place where they don’t speak my language or eat my kind of food or celebrate the things I celebrate back home I realised that my first identity would always be related to you.
First and foremost they would ask me where I was from and then ask me my name.
They did not ask me my Father’s name but the name of the land I came from.(a very interesting change for me)
I am kind of embarrassed I have not added anything to your crowning glory and I was one of those idiots who was just being proud of what my ancestors but has added nothing yet.
I am very proud that my ancestors were great architects, that they fought the British and never let you be colonised, that they made a name so strong that our name would be tagged with bravery but that was a long time ago and very very very few of us have been able to live up to that level till now.
I was a selfish person..
always complaining that you were not enough,not enough for my growth,that you did not provide me enough electricity to do whatever I want,that you did not have good enough roads for me to walk n,you did not provide enough musician or movies to keep me entertained, you did not give enough to export to other countries,you did not give me a good enough education ,your economy is terrible and there is always something wrong with your political situation,the petrol prices are always sky high…you tired me there was always something to complain about but then you with every new day there was something new to complain about on the list
Then I realised that you ARE actually BEAUTIFUL,you WERE even MORE pretty before with milky waterfalls and clean rivers and what not…then with a lot of idiots like me who DO NOT appreciate beauty and DO NOT know how to make the most out of things..your beauty degraded.
So those areas where not so selfish people live..your beauty is still maintained to some extent or else in places like where I live..your exoticness has been replaced by concrete jungles.The beautiful music you play and the art you display was just depreciating because of shitheads like me..selfish and blind.
I am sorry I was a airhead for not seeing that it was never your fault that others just like me used your name as an excuse to escape.They said there is not much you offer so they had no other choice but to leave.
You don’t leave your mother because she is maimed..she cut her limbs so that you can walk and now you ungrateful person are leaving her.
It is not right to hide my incapability…to hide all that I cant do just by saying it is you who has always been wrong.
I am sorry I kinda stopped loving you when the King died..but I was too young to understand then that you lost a lot more than I did..you lost your guardian and were left with a bunch of foolish kids who do not know your importance.
Well some kids understand you..which is good..some kids are trying to take care of you..I really appreciate the effort (god bless their soul)I am sorry some of us are not using the resources you provide well and misuse the hell out of it and then say you don’t provide enough..I am sorry some of us try to REPRESENT you without even understanding what you are really about.
The thing is my first identity,I love you enough to get your point.I know you are sad that is why the roads are covered with grey and golden dust…you can’t see things with clarity anymore because there are too many things on your chest at the moment..it is okay some of us shall try to clean the mess and make you as pretty as you were before.
Some of us shall try to make a name for our grandkids to be proud of.I am so sorry you had to go through so much bloodshed and tears and loss and nobody actually interested to find out what was wrong.
They just blamed you for not being enough when in reality it was them .
I am sorry there are some of us who are ASHAMED of you because of your SHAMEFUL way of doing things..I am ashamed of them actually they don’t even respect where they come from how will they go anywhere in life?( Waste of space tsk tsk tsk.)
There are people who instead of creating their own identity and giving you something back were fighting for their identity…trying to act all patriotic and stuff…too bad they do not even know what patriotism means..it does not just mean waving your flag and wearing a head band with your country’s symbol..it does not mean supporting your team when it wins and being ashamed when it looses..it does not mean you do whatever you want come back home and blame your country for it.
What it means is you should carry a little bit of your country wherever you go and think of what kind of name it will bring to your country .It means you know you are an unofficial ambassador.
I have not done much so I do not have much say…I will do my best to give something back to you for all that you have given me and no the loadshedding is not because of you..you already have enough energy for being one of the most powerful hydro electricity generators in asia but then some of the dweebs are just too dweeby to understand the failure of people so they blame the damn nation.
Thankyou for providing even if some of us are not worthy enough to carry on the legacy of our ancestors..but we shall try.
Thankyou for the rich culture and tradition.
Thankyou for the love and the land I call home
Loads of love
and a lot of attempts to make your name
Rae
raeesha.com 