He said he adored me

Couldn’t take me off his mind

Went to bed thinking of my smile

I was his happy then

But he lived in the future

And there he found sadness In my absence

For we could not be together then

He blamed it on god

I blamed it on religion

And we excused ourselves

saying god is much bigger than us

For whatever reason

I didn’t clear his clouds

Because I knew I am not his sunshine

He kept reminding me he wasn’t mine

I asked him If he would read

the book I would give him

He said he would not keep it

and give it to his sister

for his wife would not deserve a reminder

that there was someone else

So I found beauty in the fog of now

For a few days

But I do not like living

in things that aren’t clear

So ended it with a NO

Stood behind the lines he drew

For I can’t be his wall

I can’t be his guilt

Someone said his love for me

glows in his eyes

But I don’t think that is love

For I don’t remember pumping his blood

I just remember paying for the rent in his mind

For it wasn’t a space that was mine

Someone else who loves his god

Would live there someday

And I would be the guilt in his eyes

And from what I know

Love is not what you think of it

Love is what it makes you feel

Its not in finding safety

But in being wild

, warm and free

And about god

If acceptance isn’t god

I do not know what is

But the thing is

I do not know enough