He said he adored me
Couldn’t take me off his mind
Went to bed thinking of my smile
I was his happy then
But he lived in the future
And there he found sadness In my absence
For we could not be together then
He blamed it on god
I blamed it on religion
And we excused ourselves
saying god is much bigger than us
For whatever reason
I didn’t clear his clouds
Because I knew I am not his sunshine
He kept reminding me he wasn’t mine
I asked him If he would read
the book I would give him
He said he would not keep it
and give it to his sister
for his wife would not deserve a reminder
that there was someone else
So I found beauty in the fog of now
For a few days
But I do not like living
in things that aren’t clear
So ended it with a NO
Stood behind the lines he drew
For I can’t be his wall
I can’t be his guilt
Someone said his love for me
glows in his eyes
But I don’t think that is love
For I don’t remember pumping his blood
I just remember paying for the rent in his mind
For it wasn’t a space that was mine
Someone else who loves his god
Would live there someday
And I would be the guilt in his eyes
And from what I know
Love is not what you think of it
Love is what it makes you feel
Its not in finding safety
But in being wild
, warm and free
And about god
If acceptance isn’t god
I do not know what is
But the thing is
I do not know enough
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