I was done with living the ‘ALONE’ life, not being cool enough to ‘FIT IN’ and being ‘SOMEONE WHO WAS DUMPED’
but
I was not done feeling sorry for myself.
Eight months were more than enough of ‘self’ time to discover what kind of person I was but then instead of figuring things out I was more confused.
I did not know what I wanted,I had practically no friends ( my close friends were back in my hometown)
I did not say anything to anyone except ,”Please Microwave” to the 7/11 staff and gained a lot of weight.
I figured no one was coming to save me and I was not going to find ”someone like him” and that I should probably stop listening to Adele and Sara Bareilles and crying my lungs out.
Life gives you lessons and ”everything else” in unexpected times.
So while I was living the ‘Oh so unsocial’ life,I was still using my ”very cool ”social networking website Facebook.
While I was just scrolling down the newsfeed,I froze based on something I read.
It said,”The way you live your day is the way you live your life.”
This line showed me my future,my past, my present and my end, all in less than a span of 40 seconds.
What was I in the past?
A naive girl who did not swear,who practically lived in her own dreamland and thought she was going to live happily ever after with her prince charming.
Then what happened?
Life happened…the bubble burst and turns out life is not a fairytale and that its not about the Happily ever after but to find happiness and live in the ‘ ‘RIGHT NOW!”
What was I doing right now?
Nothing,I was waking up late every morning ,eating junk food and then lying in bed thinking of all that happened..that maybe this would be a nightmare and I would wake up and realise everything was going to be okay.
What did I see myself doing in the future?
If I was doing the things I was doing now then I would be living a terrible life,would be disgusted with my being and just be someone who died with overdose of caffeine( maybe drugs) and cats lonely and miserable in her apartment.
Did I really want that?
NO WAY IN HELL
So what did I have to do?
Live the rest of the day like I was going to live the rest of my life…doing things that would add some meaning,It would not mean much right now but then after I would look back everything would be clearer.
So yeah instead of warriors my life was saved with words by I don’t even know who.
I was done being sorry for myself,and if I was done being sorry for myself no-one else in the world was worthy enough to feel sorry for me….I was starting to take one day at a time…and I am still doing the same…not worried if plans fail 🙂
raeesha.com 