I slept with my secrets and woke up with them..
No one else knew what was going on, noone knew I was drowning they thought I was enjoying the waves …everything seems different from a distance so I let them think whatever they liked.Noone needed to know the truth…I was man enough to handle the bitterness and gulp it down with shots of vodka…you know why I drank so much? To compare if the vodka would burn my chest as much as your absence does…but stupid vodka..always lost.
I needed to live on without you. ..abd care for the ones left behind…had no choice. ..who knew that some debts are not repayed even in a lifetime and who knew that I would always end up paying for other people’s mistakes.
I should never have married her….her eyebrows were a question mark I could never answer. .so even now I won’t say a word to her…I’m ending everything today…let’s not say by choice but because now they almost know my truth and I can’t live on with pity…..I can take everything but I can’t take someone else being sorry for me.
They have started. .now I won’t need to wake up and sleep with my secrets. ..cos its secret no more now I will not need to wake up…and from now on I will never know what now feels like I will always be the was…the perfectly framed photograph that will never need to answer or explain why I did what I did……