May 29th 2016

You have always been someone who feels a lot of unexplainable things and never had you ever felt guilty about that.

Since when did you start feeling guilty for being alive?

Since when did what other people said of you become more important than what you thought of your life?

Humans have never had it easy,and you can’t be less than that just because it is difficult.Remember that book you read?That taught about how humans did not really understand words as much as dogs did? Well keep reminding yourself that just because she uses  words against you like knifes you do not need to attack others too.You have not been handled with care does not mean you can not handle others with care.You know what it means to understand and you have been paying the price.Learn to let go and stop imprisoning yourself.People make mistakes.People give in to circumstances.People leave.People come back too (sometimes).You can’t undo what is done and you can never stop time.All you can do is love.

You have been this non-machine thing that could never give in to not make more than what you were given.You have done more than you ever thought you would.You have always been given the opportunity to live your dream.Do not stop making your to do list.Buy more stationery and cute kawai stuff even if you know you are broke because noone here gets out alive anyways.

It takes a lot to use concealer and pretend you do not have darkness under your eyes.You have been doing that pretty well and sometimes you do it so well even you do not know what is real and what is not.You are capable,you always have been.Do not underestimate the rainbow that you can bring and the colors you have imagined.You could make the voices stop then you can make them stop now as well.Sleepless nights does not mean you need to stop dreaming.Do not stop dreaming.

You have always been an expressive emotional ball of awesomeness whose super power is empathy.Do not make them feel like you will embrace non-expressiveness just to fit in their frame because you won’t you were not made that way baby.You were never made to fit you were made to be free.You were made for yourself.I know you did not have a choice to choose much about your birth and wont have much to say in your death either….the time in between is all you got…read all the books you have always wanted to…photograph all you want…think of the camera…think of the books and people…think of the places…think of the food…but do not think of the comments that break you.Think of everything that made you alive and DO NOT cry because you feel they will never come back to you again…because you are still alive…you’re just tired…this does not mean you won’t recover….you will and the day you will know