The year 2015 was a very interesting year for me,I would say that is the year I began my adulthood.I started paying my taxes for the first time and well that is adulthood.
Drastic emotional and mental changes,changes in behavior and everything,not being able to accept how lost I am and also inability to think things through led me to severe depression.
I was almost always crying,I was not being able to be myself and I was also being an idiot….just because I was suffering did not mean the people around me needed to suffer too.Quarter life crisis they say ….they keep on inventing new words for new problems.
I admit I changed and I did not want to.I was not myself for an entire year.I said things I did not mean and did things I never wanted to do.I became a history teacher…that was insane.
2016 is definitely my year though.I promise to forgive myself for whatever I did to myself and the people around me.I plan to actualize my vision and remind myself how capable I am of doing things.I will apologize sincerely and if people can’t take up my apologies I do not think it is me who should be guilty for the rest of my life because come on who does not make mistakes?
The best thing to do when you make a mistake is accept it and amend it,in this process you should also forgive yourself.For not really understanding,for being ruled by circumstances or even for being mean to yourself.Forgive yourself for not trusting yourself and fix it by believing in yourself again.If a differently able man with only one hand can run every morning just to keep himself fit why can’t you have the same dedication to take care of yourself?
Taking care of yourself and others is forgiveness too,not being too harsh on yourself and reminding yourself you are kind is forgiveness too.
All of this comes from my Father the only man in the world who I can give up anything for.I once told another man who was not my father that he was equally important..it took me a year to realize no one can love you as much as your father does.
So I have decided to move on and forgive myself because I am too damn fabulous for regrets and to never say to any other man dead or alive that he is as important as my father.
As for freedom,last year I felt very caged.I was setting up bars and being a negative person and hating on life.I also promise myself to free myself from hatred and negativity by over powering all of the shadows with acceptance and love.
until next time
XOXO
raeesha.com 