Letter 2 : To my 22 year old self.

December 2014

You had never imagined you would ever want to see Sunil Shetty in a feminine avatar but now you have seen Athiya Shetty and you can not unsee that (EVER).

Who knew at 22 you would find out that you and Sunil Shetty’s daughter are the same age when you are having a quarter-life crisis.To be honest I am still surprised at even when you are having a quarter life crisis you still google stuffs that have no connection to your life AT ALL ! (What an adult).

Like I told you in your earlier letter you have stopped giving a shit about Hritik Roshan. As a matter of fact you have not had a fetish for celebrities for a long damn time now.

You have better things to worry about than which celebrity you wold get married to for instance ‘What next?’

Who knew ‘What Next?’ would be the most life threatening,chaos creating,mentally disturbing question…..but now you know….

You do not want to leave behind your soul sister that you found in your roommate and you have no idea if you can make a friend like her ever again in your own country.

Isn’t it funny how you actually find a part of your soul in a person who was raised in a completely different background who worships a different God ?

In a crisis where you’re finding it hard to believe in yourself and the concept of God you’re blessed with the presence of someone completely different than you who made you feel less strange,who made you feel like you fit in and belonged to her family,who made you restore your faith in humanity.

Rose Sibanda your Zimbabwean sister who you consider the most precious person you met in Thailand will actually come visit you in 2017 .(I KNOW that was a spoiler but I also know you are so damn scared to leave her behind)

You are dating someone who seems like he has his shit sorted and my oh my are you crazy in love.Sometimes I feel like you should not be so scared of losing him but I am you with a few more years of experience now (LITERALLY) and I am glad you felt all those feelings back then for you would not have been me now.

To leave behind a part of you in the country you studied at which you would never have found if you were not lost in that strange land in the first place is a challenging thing.It was challenging for you to adjust in Thailand for the first few months before and now you are even more scared to go back to your own country and adjust there.

You are not sure if your whole life you are supposed to adjust to situations but hey you are a human being and human beings can always adapt to their environment.

I know you are scared and you are so damn lost.You are freaked out about what your future has in-stored for you,the pressure from the family is definitely not helping and you are so so sooo worried you might be a disappointment for your parents.

You applied to 75 different places for a job and you have not even heard from one yet.You have not even recieved your certificate and you wanted to stay back for the convocation but your mother does not want you to stay a day further than the last day of your exams. 😦

Trust me though you will not be a disappointment for anyone because soon you will learn to only have expectations from yourself.You might just attend a convocation later even though it was not your undergrad convocation.Don’t fuss about it you won’t be missing out on much.

I know you will miss Milo,Sid,Rose,Ananya,Amarin,Ekta and the rest of ABAC (even the damn swans and the Ajarns) but if you live in the past more you will also have a high chance of missing out on your future.

You will make me proud.